if not now, then when?

This morning I was brainstorming ideas for some future blog posts and I haven’t been able to shake the non-stop topic in my head of my future. It’s a topic on my perspective as an independent artist, living paycheck to paycheck, working at my dream full time, watching friends give up and move on and the constant inner battle that people like us inevitably face.

How should I measure success? At what point will I feel satisfied in what i’ve achieved? What if i realize that I’m never going to have enough money to live other dreams by pursuing this dream… (like owning a home, having a family or expanding into new opportunities)… what happens then? // ok, breathe alaina!

These silly questions can feel heavy day after day, year after year. Working independently (or working at any job for that matter) requires a lot of hard work and dedication, for a goal that, for some people, may never happen.

If this post is a huge bummer to read, I apologize, I’m not trying to be a downer on your day, but imagine living with these realities in the back of your mind at all times. It’s easy to imagine in life that I’m ridiculously happy creating and taking exciting new adventures everyday, that’s a part of the reason why I’m willing to sacrifice literally everything and all my wants to keep reaching for my dreams. I don’t want to look back on my life and wonder “what if?”, so that’s the reason I choose now instead of when.

smile{this photo was taken over the weekend by my gorgeous niece, I love how she captured mine and my husbands genuine happiness just by spending time together. Even in the midst of all the chaos going on in our life, from transitioning careers, being jobless, not being able to see each other during the week because of job placements and making ends meat. It’s definitely not easy, but we are just “dancing in the storm” while our bigger story is being written!}

It’s so very important to know that behind every success story is someone who has most likely been completely broken and has sacrificed so much for periods at a time, who probably has had doubt and of course fears of failure. It’s how we press through these obstacles to living a risky dream that separates those with special talents from those who use their God given talents to make their dreams come to life!

I guess all that I wanted to write this post for was to encourage those of you out there who are in the middle of sacrificing your normal comfort for the chance at your dream. Whoever you are, just know that you aren’t alone…in fact, most of the people you admire have walked in your shoes and I’m sure they look back at the hard times as a part of their bigger story of success.


4 thoughts on “if not now, then when?

  1. As I read your posts and see your continued optimism despite the frustrating circumstances, I am greatly encouraged. Being in this fresh-out-of-college world is both frightening and exhilarating. Kevin and I are very much in the same scary boat, so it’s refreshing to know we are not alone. We truly only have the Lord and one another at this stage and season of our lives. I am continually reminded that we are his sheep and he is our Shepherd, from John 10. He has already led us to redemption and continues to lead us down this scary, unknown path of life. I will pray for some relief and potential job opportunities for the two of you!

    • Allison, you’re a doll and I totally agree with you. I am so happy we have The Lord to depend on. I honestly don’t know how people survive without Him. I will definitely keep you and your sweet husband in our prayers. If you EVER need or even just want someone to talk to, I’m always here! Ps. Kolin and I are considering a road trip and Alabama is on that list, I’ve been receiving job leads out of state all over! If we do, we would love to see you two!

      • Thank you so much for that, as am I always here for you! Okay, seriously… Alabama (Birmingham, more as) is wonderful. Full of culture, delicious food, music and so many job opportunities! If you ever come this way you are more than welcome to stay with us! Praying!

  2. Beautiful cousin it will all happen in His timing….this is one of my favorite quotes by a christian editorial writer named Erma Bombeck…whenever i feel i will never accomplish the things “I” have planned for me i remember its not up to me…hope this helps lift you up the way it does me…hugs and love!

    “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say,” I used everything you gave me.”
    -Erma Bombeck-

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